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Bridal White

from Picture Perfect Depression by Helltown

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lyrics

I keep feeling like there's some mistake I've made, I can track it down to the source
but I keep ending up with the same date, the same time, as I was born.

If it never happened maybe things would change
if I was someone else who didn't give up easily
maybe then these clothes would fit and I could feel a sense of self
instead I'm locked inside a room and hate the thoughts that seem to help.

If I pray for better days I guess I got what I deserve
all the things I've ever done only seem to end in hurt
welcome home, a parade of sorts, will they gather for my return
inside a coffin, bridal white, pale at peace before I'm burned.

Forget who I've become, remember whoever you wish
just can't seem to care these days, I was such a happy kid.

I'm leaving last letters in songs
I'm sorry it just took so long
I'm falling deep into the pit
the darkness became where I live
Inside a house, inside a city
I hope that there is some part of me
that did some good
that wasn't a lie
I'm sorry I failed
but know I tried
to make it right
to live this life.

So don't act so surprised
it was all right before you eyes
all the secrets that I tried
but in death will have failed to hide.

Read the letter inside my notebook
the one with the quote from Camus
flip through pages of half finished words
the things I wish I'd said but it hurt.

If I had learned how to talk
maybe I'd say how I feel
instead I'm wondering who is listening
and I'm dying alone out here.

Is this all a cry for help?
would it always be the end?
just promise that you'll remember
who I was my dearest friends.

credits

from Picture Perfect Depression, released March 10, 2019

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Helltown Los Angeles, California

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