by Helltown

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released November 23, 2015



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Helltown Portland, Oregon

bedroom bullshit

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Track Name: Summer
its been a good week. i didn't even turn a cross upside down. the way that your smile changes. keeping me calm in my summer denial. but i am in love. feelings they sure come and they sure go. could you feel me as i took my last breath before the winter snow.

i still feel your sadness growing with every lie. drown me in tainted blood more useful as a sacrifice.

i still hear your tears as they break on concrete. the rain from 4 years spills out as we bleed.

i spent so much time thinking about how things change. after summer i'll be the same. thinking about the windows, where your heart goes.

thinking about heaven and hell. wonder if my dads doing well. if i only have one life and how i wasted it being alive.

think about the suffering, what it means to be a human being. think about the love i lost, think about how much it cost.

worry about the restless sleep, worry about the pills in me. think about closing my eyes. think about what its like to die.
Track Name: North Star
oh western skyline will you guide me home tonight. the north stars gone dim. everything turns to shit.

oh sing me your song. your right and i was wrong. im so lost without you. your small heart break breaks into two.

love of my life. i cant think straight can you take me home tonight? cause i'm too drunk and too high. i can't think right i can't think right. and i'm so scared to die. can never explain all these lies. but i will say goodbye. one last time.

oh spill my blood now. its time i pay my debt down. sacrifice my bones and crush them till im no one.
Track Name: Trash
throw my body in the trash because it's saturday. i feel like hell i sure drank the whole night away. leave me broken leave me satisfied yeah it's okay. i will be around some other day to say hey.

drink my coffee drink it black cause it's what i like. tried to smoke a cigarette but my throat is too dry. need to exhale something sweet maybe if i try. to tell you how i love you maybe i can begin life.

did you think we were lonelier than the rain cloud. hangs above my head on wednesday i'm thinking out loud. sure as hell wish i had courage and i wish i was proud. but instead i'm just ashamed of shit i left out.

filling out a dating profile but i just want you back. swear to god i'm smoking m way to a heart attack. every friday i'm in love it lasts the whole week. put the words in my mouth so i don't have to speak.

throw my body in the trash because it's saturday. i feel like i sure as hell drank the whole night away. leave me broken leave me satisfied yeah it's okay. i will be around some other day to say hey.
Track Name: The New Year
the sun it goes down, as the winter winds begin. the places that you dreamt of, became places that you've been. once we were a whole, now we're condemned to just friends. the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong words, the wrong everything.

take some pills and close my eyes. tell myself it will get better in time. past experience says it isn't true. living without meaning. without you.

mark the days off my calendar, december is coming quick again. bury my head under these blankets, january is just around the bend. with another new year approaching, the only thing to change are the numbers. i can say that i will too, but failure bleeds the same hue.
Track Name: Happy to Forget
kill me cause maybe it’s what we both need
drain my blood until my veins run dry and barren like my heartbeat
save me because pentagrams and black masses sure ruined my chances
hate me over broken promises from last year still feel so damn clear to me

tell me one last time that everything is fine
i can read the notes inside as they pour out
writing letters never sent i don’t know about happiness
but if i didn’t i wouldn’t give it up for the world

do you remember walking home
do you remember drinking
do you remember driving that car
do you remember that feeling

do you remember feeling so alone

i remember feeling so alone
im so sick and broken
i can’t breathe

this coffin the dead space
when im gone will i sleep

alone still, your warm heart
its so far from me

the blood and my cold bones
feels like death in me

i’m crying, im restless
and hoping you get this

i’ve been suffering here
but maybe i’m happy somewhere

some other place in memory
a place where i don’t have to grieve

over shit left over from the past
over shit that i’d be happy to forget